Carlin Tips

Rx For Staying Young – Live, Love, and Laugh a Lot

By John Leighty

The late humorist George Carlin’s top ten list for aging gracefully featured this sage advice: “Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.” 
Other tips for graying Baby Boomers by the irreverent standup comedian were laughing often, long and loud, enjoying simple things, and acknowledging people and things you
Head shot of George Carlin
George Carlin
love. “Laugh until you gasp for breath,” the comic quipped. 
Carlin prescribed finding hobbies such as gardening or arts and crafts to keep the senior brain active and alert as well as eating healthy food, exercising regularly, and learning to endure grief to live a happier and fuller life.
“Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever,” was Carlin’s formula for healthy aging. “Your home is your refuge.”

Carlin left a list of 10 ways to age gracefully. Among them:

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them. 
2. Keep only cheer friends. The bummers get you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's. 
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. Read humor books.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive. 
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help. 
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10.Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. 

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Humor quips to help you cope

Laughter is secret elixir for healthy aging

Positive attitude and humor are best prescriptions for happiness and longevity

I'm collecting funny outtakes that keep me buzzin' on the positive adventure across the laff-a-lot landscape of healthy aging fun and longevity. What makes you chuckle? Make your day funny and add to the LPMs - laughs per minute! The world needs to light(en) up. As comic George #Carlin quips from his home in a cloud - "Live, Love and Laugh!

Curtain Call
John "Boomer" Leighty
I saw George Burns perform live at a Lake Tahoe casino when he was pushing 100 – and he didn't miss a boomer beat. "I'm happy to be here," he said in a strong tenor voice, waving his trademark cigar and pausing to gaze deadpan over the ritzy showroom audience. "Hell, at my age, I'm happy to be anywhere!"

Sage Advice
George Carlin

"Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down."

robin williams with dog pug
Robin Williams and his rescued pug
Nanu - RIP
Robin Williams
"I have a gay rescue pug called Leonard, who I take for walks because I am very secure in my sexuality," Williams once said in an interview at his Marin County home. "He has a boyfriend and they are planning to adopt a Siamese kitten together. We're very modern."

Golden Rule
Actress Betty White
"All creatures must learn to coexist. That's why the brown bear and the field mouse can share their lives in harmony. Of course, they can't mate or the mice would explode."

Where's Granny? 
TV Show Host Ellen DeGeneres
"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's 97 now, and we don't know where the hell she is."

Buddhist Tale
Ram Dass
Student of Zen asks Guru: "What happens after death?"
Guru: "I do not know."
Student: "How can that be. Are you not a Zen Master?"
Guru: "Yes, but not a dead Zen Master."

Philosopher Potion
"The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease."

Folksy Fact
Will Rogers:
"We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress."

Trumped UP
When Putin and Trump met in Helsinki, they shook hands.
“I’m Vladimir Putin, president of Russia,” Putin said.
“I’m Donald J. Trump, president of the United States,” Trump replied.
“Oh,” said Putin, “what does the J stand for?”
“Jenius!” said Trump.

Success Credo
W. C. Fields
"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it."

Stay tuned for more jokes folks....

Vintage TV Humor


TV Pictorial Humor

Large PB 1st edition 1966

By Arthur Shulman

TV pictorial humor book
Check Out Nostalgic TV  Images 

A nostalgic look at TV humor

This is an oversize 1966 Bonanza Books paperback by Arthur Schulman and Roger Youman that features numerous pages of photographs and commentary on humorous TV shows such as Candid Camera and the Dinah Shore Show.  

 On sale now at Johnsrarebooks on eBay

Bob Dylan 2017 Nobel Lecture in Literature

Allegorically Speaking ...

Allegory Department Feels Latin Heat At Impeachment Hearings

Latinism Buzz: From Quid Pro Quo to Flagrante Delicto

All Latin expressions have gathered at the Taverna to discuss Quid Pro Quo’s phenomenal rise in popularity thanks to impeachment hearings on U.S. President Donald Trump. A wave of resentment ran through Ad Hoc, Pro Bono, Vice Versa, Et Cetera etc., who considered themselves frontrunners in the Latinism sweepstakes before Quid Pro Quo sprinted ahead in recent weeks.

“Well, let’s get real,” said Bona Fide, who was always truthful. “Quid
Pro Quo is being promoted by no less a person than the U.S President,
even though Pro Bono is available for free.” Hearing this, Pro Bono,
who was selfless and always unquestioningly volunteering herself,
asked Prime Facie if this was indeed the case.

“On the face of it, yes,” confirmed Prima Facie. “Although the
President likes Ad Hoc, Quid Pro Quo is his current favorite.”

“What about me? I am always bringing up the rear… though I am used so
often,” complained Et Cetera.

“At least you and your comrades Nota Bena and Post Scriptum are made
of two words, unlike that useless Addendum,” consoled Alter Ego,
looking over his shoulder at his shadow.

“Quid Pro Quo is made of three words!” pointed out Carpe Diem,
groaning, “I should have seized the moment when the poet Horace wrote
me into his Odes!”

“Actually, we should have all gone to war!” yelled Casus Belli, who
was always in a confrontational mood.

“We would have backed you!” shouted twins De Facto and De Jure.

“Hear! Hear!” roared Vox Populi.

Et Cetera was comforted, but he knew he could never become the
favorite; he’d always be an afterthought.

“Well, fair is foul and foul is fair,” explained Vice Versa, an
opportunist who flip-flopped often.

“Indeed, I am sorry about our fate. If y’all want I am happy to take
the blame,” offered the always-apologetic Mea Culpa.

“Let’s just stay rooted to the ground. Our day will come!” advised Terra Firma.

“No, let’s keep on rolling and rolling and …” pressed Ad Infinitum.

“The bird walked to the toy store,” said Non Sequitur.

Alma Mater, who was nourishing her children Alumnus and Alumna,
watched the agitated Latinisms with Sotto Voce, who was usually quiet
and spoke only occasionally in a low voice.

“Too bad everyone thinks the President has flipped for Quid Pro Quo,”
she whispered. “No one believes me but I’ve seen him canoodling with
that sexy wench In Flagrante Delicto.”

Suddenly they heard someone chuckling in the shadows. It was Non
Compos Mentis, giggling with the knowledge that she, not In Flagrante
Delicto, was the President’s first love.


Poem: Let's Go Viral

Two dogs barking

(How hard can it be?)

I’m downsized from my job 
So I started to blog

I've learned to be wise

And word optimize

Online I can stay
And earn eight cents a day

It just isn't funny
To run out of money!

                                         -- Miles Travling

Secrets of the Terra-Cotta Soldier

Secrets of the Terra-Cotta Soldier

by Vinson Compestine

Signed 1st edition 2014

John's Rare Books and Collectibles Sale

China's Terra-Cotta Army
Search for China's Ghost Army

[View Sale now on eBay]

A coming-of-age adventure story that weaves fact and fiction. Ming, 13, lives in a small village in Maoist China in the 1970s. His father believes Emperor Qin's tomb--and the life-size terra-cotta army created to protect the emperor in the afterlife--lies hidden in the hills around them. However, if his father doesn't prove it soon, the town's Political Officer will condemn him to the brutal labor camps.

A terra-cotta soldier who has survived through the centuries shows up and teaches Ming about Emperor Qin, known for building the Great Wall of China. Ming also learns the history of the terra-cotta soldiers. As Ming's friendship with the soldier develops, he experiences the mysterious tomb firsthand, braving deadly traps and witnessing the terra-cotta army in action.

Most importantly, Ming learns how to save both the terra-cotta soldiers and his father from the corrupt Political Officer and his Communist cronies. The book is illustrated with photographs of Communist Chinese village life in the 1970s, the Great Wall, and, of course, the excavated tomb with its many terra-cotta soldiers.

Famous Opening Lines